Miami Pool Party
by Strawbabyxox
Summary: After a good day at work, Lt. Horatio Caine goes home and happens to be invited, along with the rest of the CSIs, to a pool party hosted by Calleigh. Love will spark or Alexx will make it. But first he has to go bikini shopping with the blonde beauty?
1. The Message

Miami Pool Party Disclaimer: 'CSI: Miami' is a registered trademark of CBS Productions and Alliance Atlantis Communications. No copyright infringement is intended or contained on this story. No money is made with this story. It is just written for fun and entertainment.

* * *

Horatio sighed as he locked himself into the one place he could truly be at peace. His home. Smiling, Horatio slipped off his coat and shoes and stepped into the open living room of his beach-side condo.

He grinned as he took a deep breath. It had been to long since he had last been home in a good mood. Always returning upset, as if a dark cloud hung overtop of his head. But his CSIs were there once again for him. Without their help they would have never gotten the man who tried to kill both his 5 year old son and wife, making today a great day.

The case had been dead waters in the beginning, but soon it turned into a fairly easy win for the CSIs.

Horatio couldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face as he made his dinner. He was able to work with his southern belle today which had caused the stupid grin to be plastered on his face for the remainder of the day.

Sitting down beside his laptop, he logged onto their chat room. Their meaning Eric, Calleigh, Ryan, Alexx and Valera. He would have asked Frank to join, but for some reason technology scared the kind hearted Texan. Humming a soft tune, Horatio waited for the page to load.

Now his stupid grin multiplied by one hundred.

Calleigh was on.

He knew it was wrong to think about her that way. She was his, if not his best, friend as well as co-worker and he was her boss. But his heart and his head don t always see eye-to-eye with each other. The page finally finished loading and pinged his arrival to the others in the room, which happened to be Ryan, Calleigh and Eric. He watched the greetings pop on screen, but wished there was more to what the blond beauty was saying to him.

_-TheShades has signed in-  
_

_BulletGirl: Hey! _

_SexyDiver: Hey, H. _

_LostWolfe: Hey there, H!_

_TheShades: Hello everyone. BulletGirl: What is everyone doing on Saturday?_

_SexyDiver: Nothing from what I know_

_LostWolfe: Notin _

_TheShades: I was thinking of having a BBQ with you guys _

_BulletGirl: Can we get a rain check on that BBQ handsome? I was wondering if the team would like to come for a pool party at my house.  
_

Blinking softly, Horatio thought of all the things he'd rather do than see Calleigh in a bathing suit.

...............................

There were none.

_TheShades: I'm in! _

_SexyDiver: Me too!_

_LostWolfe: Sure Cal, it should be fun, I'll call the others for you._

_BulletGirl: Yay! Thanks so much, just come over at about 1:00pm on Saturday! See you then, my favourite show is on!_

_TheShades: Have fun watching that girly soap-opera._

_BulletGirl: Oh haha, you didn't say that when Beatrice died and YOU were the one who cried!_

_SexyDiver: *Giggles and turns away*_

_LostWolfe: *Copies SexyDiver*_

_TheShades: ......_

_BulletGirl: HA! I got him speechless!_

_TheShades: Oh sorry, I was watching something._

_BulletGirl: Funny. Well I ve seen this one anyway so I m gonna go have a shower, see yeah Sat!_

_SexyDiver: Thanks for the mental image Cal!_

_LoneWolfe: Bow-chicka-wow-wow!_

_-BulletGirl has logged off-_

Horatio almost spat his drink onto the screen after reading Calleigh's post. He began to mentally imagine his beautiful Calleigh in the shower. The way the water would run off her-He shook his head furiously.

'Get a hold of yourself!' he mentally spat at himself.

Rubbing his hands over his face, a shower was starting to feel very welcomed right now.

Closing all other pages he was on, Horatio glanced at the conversation Eric and Ryan were having. His anger was building with every post.

_LoneWolfe: Dang you were right about the mental image! I-lord I need a moment!_

_SexyDiver: Dang I wish Cal was mine...I would so be in there with her _

_LoneWolfe: She told me she liked someone.  
_

This surprised Horatio, he had always had strong feelings for Calleigh, but he never thought of her returning his feelings or for her to possibly like someone else.

_SexyDiver: Who?_

_LoneWolfe: No clue, but you never know, my guess is you._

_SexyDiver: Oh I hope so if she does I swear I would take that beautiful body of hers and-_

_TheShades: Well I m logging off now. I hope Calleigh knows you are both spreading rumours about her._

_SexyDiver: Shit, H! Look, sorry man we were just kidding!_

_LoneWolfe: Yeah! No Harm done._

_TheShades: Good Night._

_-TheShades has logged off-_

Who does Calleigh like? He wondered furiously as he sat there.

Whoever it was, Mr. Horatio Caine was determined to kill him if he didn t treat his girl right.

Sighing he slammed the laptop shut as he stood up. He placed his dishes in the sink before sauntering off to bed.

Glancing over at the clock that read 10:49 in bright red letters, the lieutenant climbed into his soft brown covers. Forget the shower, this is truly what he needed.

Saturday was two days away, it being Thursday, but he knew that he would kill Eric and Ryan when he got to work tomorrow.

Oh how he wished it was blistering hot tomorrow, and they needed people to go swimming in the garbage bins.

As sleep began to claim Horatio, he couldn t help but sigh as he rolled over in his king sized bed. He wished that he had someone, more specifically Calleigh, beside him.

But that would never happen....

Would it?

TBC

Thanks For Reading, Please Review! ^^

This is my first FanFic so please be nice ;)

I Hope the chat room text was okay and not against the rules that FanFic has (Help)

The online names were pretty self explanatory, but if you are a bit confused:

SexyDiver- Eric, cause he is a sexy diver lol

LoneWolfe- Ryan =)

BulletGirl- Calleigh

And of course, TheShades- is Horatio.

* * *


	2. Consequences

Part 2 =) Disclaimer: in first chapter

Sorry about some of the errors in Chpt. One, my computer isn't very nice and did that to me =( Hopefully i will get a new one soon! ^^

By the way "lol" is normal speaking, while 'lol' is thought.

* * *

Smiling Horatio sighed in pure bliss. Here he was, sitting on the beach beside his house, with Calleigh in his arms. He watched as the wind blew around them, causing Goosebumps to sprout up on the blonde's neck and arms. Leaning forward, Horatio draped his coat and arms around her.

This would have warmed her up, but he started to give her soft butterfly kisses along her neck, causing her to shiver uncontrollably.

That is when Calleigh turned and looked into his deep blue eyes with her own sparkling forest. She giggled softly before opening her mouth. Just as she did a loud, annoying beeping starting, causing Horatio to shoot up in his bed.

"Ughh." The Lt. Muttered as he wiped sleep from his eyes.

'5:45am' Glared at him in bright red numbers

....

Why did he set his alarm so damn early today?

Oh yes, so he could plan on how to torture the two perverted CSIs on his team.

Glancing out the window, he saw the sun starting to rise, no clouds were in view.

'Now it just needs to be hot and the real fun can begin.' Horatio thought as he stretched and climbed out of bed and into the shower.

Forty minutes later, Horatio was walking up the steps of MDPD. Glancing around he realised that he was the only one there from the day shift.

Oh now he was happy.

Making quick use of his time, the lieutenant made his way to the front desk. He smiled as he asked the receptionist for the new cases, which she obliged to.

Him being the first one there meant first pick of the lot, aswell as first person to give the bad cases away. Now all he had to do was find the 'worst' case in the bundle. After a few minutes of hunting he found it.

He had found **it**.

The most amazing case that he could have ever asked for.

The case involved 2 crime scenes, one in an ally behind a bar, the second in the middle of a swamp.

Chuckling softly he wrote down two names:  
_Eric Delko & Ryan Wolfe._

Now, once they came down for their shifts, they could go swimming.

Horatio grinned. This would win him 'best boss of the year', or probably 'worst boss'. He didn't care though, stage one was a go.

_----One hour later----_

Horatio watched as Eric and Ryan yelled at each other for signing the other up for the horrendous case. They had already asked Horatio to be switched out, and their boss had responded quite happily and bluntly.

'No.'

Now they were fighting to see who went where. Both now wanting the ally crime scene, since there was no 'dumpster diving' that they knew of.

They were wrong.

"You're the damn diver! You do the swamp!" Ryan was yelling.

"What, afraid of ruining your shirt, Wolverine?" Eric snickered back, causing Ryan to fume.

Calleigh rolled her eyes at the scene as she entered the break room.

She plopped down beside Horatio with her bombshell of a grin. "Hello Handsome!" she giggled.

Horatio couldn't help it, his stupid grin had reappeared from yesterday.

"Hello Sweetheart."

"What are they fighting about this time?"

"Two bad crime scenes. One in an ally, one in a swamp."

"Oh! Well I feel bad for them!"

"Right, you say that while laughing."

Rolling her eyes Calleigh flicked his nose. "Are you still coming over tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Came Horatio's smooth reply.

That's when both of them turned and saw Ryan laughing and pumping the air with his fist. Eric just scowled. Horatio chuckled and stood up.

"Have fun dumpster diving Ryan, Eric don't come back until you shower." He mocked before exiting, leaving a laughing Calleigh, one gasping Ryan and one snickering Eric.

_----End of the shift----_

Horatio walked down the hall and couldn't help but laugh.

Ryan walked in, covered in garbage, bugs and other unmentionables while Eric looked like a walking mud-man. He had called them both back to MDPD before they could go and shower, saying it was extremely important. They fell for it hook-line and sinker.

Watching intently, he saw Calleigh beckon them both to the backdoors, where Horatio had set his trap with the help of Calleigh and Alexx.

Oh revenge was sweet.

He quickly made his way over to the group, pushing past the men to stand beside his allies.

Eric blinked through the mud-coat. "What's the problem Cal?" he asked, spitting mud out with every word.

Ryan simply nodded, not sure of what to do.

Calleigh giggled softly before whispering something in Alexx's ear, who then sped off.

Horatio chuckled as he hid something behind his back. "Do you two want to go take a shower?" He asked simply. Both nodded eagerly in response, still curious about what the others were planning.

"Well, you can't. You see, the showers are....broken." Calleigh replied, still giggling.

Eric tilted his head softly. "So how do we shower?" He asked stupidly.

Horatio laughed.

"Like this!" Calleigh exclaimed, revealing the hose her and Horatio were hiding. Alexx turned the faucet to max and watched as the two higher ranks pounded the other two with ice cold water

Ryan yelped as the water hit his skin, freezing him instantly to the bone.

Eric tried to run but slipped before he could get far.

He toppled into Ryan and the two were drenched by Calleigh and Horatio. After a good 10 minutes of wetting them down , Alexx turned the hose off.

"W-Wha-t, th-e h-he-ck wa-was tha-tha-that f-f-for?" Eric spat through chattering teeth.

Alexx grinned. "It was to help cool you hot heads down."

Horatio smiled as he bent down next to the two. Making sure the two females were out of ear-shot he turned back. "That, well that my friend was for spreading rumours about Calleigh." Ryan gasped loudly while Eric paled.

"You didn't tell her, did you?" he asked, teeth chattering aside.

Horatio smirked and stood up.

"Who knows." He replied simply before walking over to Calleigh who was giggling with Alexx.

Calleigh turned once she saw him coming and grinned.

"I have no clue why you wanted to soak them so badly, but it was worth it!" She grinned, watching Alexx take another picture with her phone. She glanced back at Horatio and realised his eyes were still on her, causing a soft blush to appear on her face.

"Um, c-can you come over early tomorrow?" She asked softly.

Horatio was a bit taken back, his eyebrows shooting up, showing his surprise. Of course he would always come to the blonde's side, but this truly gave him a shock. He then chuckled softly.

"Of course Sweetheart." He replied quietly.

Calleigh's grin stretched as far as it could.

"Well good," She smirked softly. "Cause you handsome, are coming with me to buy a new bathing suit!"

Horatio nearly fainted. Calleigh wanted him to go with her to get a new bathing suit? This could only mean one of two things, 1. She wanted Horatio to come since she wanted his opinion to impress someone. Or 2. She wanted him to come since she liked him and wanted him to choose. Probably option 1. But he could always dream.

"Hey? Horatio? You okay?" Calleigh asked, waving a hand in front of his face. He heard Alexx laughing loudly in the background and quickly straightened up.

"Oh, um yes, sorry sweetheart." He blushed softly.

"Deep thought?"

"Um, yes. I guess you could call it that Calleigh."

The blonde giggled softly, it wasn't often that Horatio Caine messed up.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow. 10am Okay?"

Horatio grinned and nodded.

"I'll even bring you a coffee." He smirked.

"Oh now you did it for yourself handsome! You had better come **RIGHT** on time then, you know what I'm like without my coffee!"

"Alright, alright. I'll be there," He smirked and waved softly. "See yeah, Sweetheart."

TBC

* * *

_Oh wait, we forgot about Eric and Ryan!_

Eric spat a mixture of garbage, bugs, mud and water out of his mouth before turning to his partner.

"This is your fault."

"Oh shut it Delko, you knew this was coming since he saw the messages."

"Don't tell me to shut it you dumbass."

"Oh go find a girlfriend. IDIOT."

"Why? Cause you will never get one of your own?"

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

Ryan the lunged at Eric, who was in the process of sticking his toungue out. They wrestled for a good few mintutes, getting in some good hits before they heard Alexx yell at them like a mother would scold her children.

The immidiatly let go of each other and sat on the pavement, still drenched.

"Well there is only one girl I will ever want."

"Oh really? Who?"

Eric glanced up and watched the Southern Beauty walk out of MDPD.

"_Calleigh Duquesne."_

TBC (for real this time.)

* * *

Thank you for reading, Review please! ^^

Well how did you like it? Hopefully better than the last ^^

So now Horatio gets to go bathing suit shopping with Cal, ooh! ;)

Thank you so much for the views and kind reviews!


	3. Code Name Waddleduck?

Holy Crap! So many views and reviews, I was all WAH! lol thank you to everyone :)

* * *

Horatio hummed happily as he drove to Calleigh's house. Last night had gone by quickly, he slept well and woke early. He now had his bullet girl s coffee beside him as well as his own.  
Glancing at the hummer's clock, it read '9:56 am'.

Kudos to him since he was early, and with coffee. He should even earn Girl Guide points for wearing cool clothes as Ryan would put it. Yes, he was sadly wearing a button up light blue t-shirt as well as white shorts. Thank the lord he had his sunglasses.

Grinning he pulled up to Calleigh's house and parked the hummer beside her car and exited quickly. Making use of his time, he rang the doorbell and waited for his blonde bombshell to answer.

After 2 minutes of waiting and still no answer, Horatio drew out his gun and unlocked the door with the spare key he was given. He knew he was over reacting, that he should just call her. But if something was wrong, this was the fasted way to find out.

"Calleigh?" He called down the hallway.

His answer was a soft echoing 'thump'.

Placing the coffees down he slid along the wall to where he heard the strange noise.

Drawing his gun towards the door, he called her name out again.

"Cal?" He opened the door silently and saw Calleigh picking up what she had knocked over, a blaring alarm clock.

Glancing up, Calleigh rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "H-Horatio?" she rasped, sleep still roughed her voice.

'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.' Were the only thoughts in the lieutenant's mind as he looked through the door. She was going to shoot him, then kill him.

Calleigh was sporting a short night-gown that showed off her curves, not that Horatio cared, but still.

"I...um-I..you-uhg, us?" Horatio rambled before he got his words right, well almost.

"You-us-bathing suit?"

Calleigh gasped as she shot out of bed. "Oh my lord! I m so sorry Horatio!" she exclaimed before running to her closet, ripping whatever article of clothing happened to be in front of her face.

"I set the alarm and everything! I just kept hitting that snooze button!"

Horatio chuckled softly. "No problem ma'am." He responded before turning. "Coffee's in the main room, Cal." He smirked before closing the door.

"Oh Horatio! Right now I love you so much I could kiss you!" she exclaimed through the closed door.

Horatio laughed softly. 'That I would never mind, though if she were to kiss me we would have to do...other things.' He then slapped himself, he really was hanging out with Eric and Ryan **WAY** to much.

Ten minutes later Calleigh entered her main room of the house, all ready to go.

"Sorry about that handsome." She said, while grabbing her coffee.

"Not a problem sweetheart, ready to go?"

"Yep! Let s get shoppin' before all the good bikinis are gone!"

"You say that as if I'm getting one as well."

"Oh, you are handsome, like I said before, I like men in leather chaps, but I also like leather bathing suits on them!"

Horatio froze and stared at Calleigh.

"Joke."

"Oh that better be one Cal, or else-"

"Or else what!? You will force me to wear your ugly shades?"

Horatio now smirked as he rose and exited the house with Calleigh hot on his heels.

"One, my shades are for me and me only, and two, they are **NOT** ugly."

Horatio opened the passenger door for Calleigh while he entered on the driver s side of his hummer and waited for her response. He loved Calleigh with every fibre of his being, but no one dissed his _shades_. He watched her pull the door shut before he pulled out of the driveway and to their destination.

Calleigh rolled her eyes and decided to drop the subject. She had heard him and Speed go at it once about them and it ended in Horatio winning and Speed getting docked pay. She decided to ask one of the questions everyone had wanted to ask.

"Hey why don't you ever tan?" she asked.

Horatio blinked and looked at his skin. "I tan."

"No, if you did you would have tan lines! You wear those glasses ALL the time, so I would know."

"....I wear sunscreen."

Now Calleigh couldn't help but laugh, she immediately thought of Horatio with sunscreen smothering his body as well as a floaty ring around his waist and water wings.

Horatio rolled his eyes.

"Oh haha Barbie."

Calleigh froze and glared at him. Oh now he had done it in for himself.

"What did you call me?"

"Barbie, you know, I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world, something something undress me?" 'Which I wouldn't mind.'

Calleigh snickered. "Fine then, um..."She paused and thought of a good nickname, 'Pasty' was coming to mind but she needed something gold. She then grinned evilly.

"Okay, Carrot Top."

_Horatio_ looked at her in shock.

"What?"

"Carrrroootttt Toooooooooopppp!!"

"BARBIE!"

"TOPPY!"

They gave each other stern looks then broke out laughing. Calleigh held her sides while Horatio hung his head a bit, still keeping an eye on the road. They arrived at the shopping center a few minutes later and both had been able to get themselves together.

Before Calleigh could do it herself, Horatio had appeared on the other side of her door and opened it up, then helped her out.

"Why thank you kind sir." She drawled.

Horatio chuckled softly. "No problem, ma'am."

They walked in arms linking with each other. Glancing around as Calleigh led him, Horatio noticed the looks Calleigh was getting from men around them. He immediately felt anger rising in his gut. He wanted to grab _his_ blonde beauty and kiss her to show who she belonged to, but knew that it wouldn't work out well and would probably end in him being shot dead, or him not being able to bear children....due to a gun-shot wound.

As they past a fake plant, they didn t realise two people crouched down behind it.

* * *

"Did you see that!?" Ryan exclaimed to Eric, who was crouching down beside him.

Biting his lip, the Cuban/Russian nodded. "Who does he think he is? Taking **MY** Calleigh and all."

"We need to get them away from one another, then once we do, you go get Calleigh while I distract H."

Nodding, Eric grinned. "We shall go Men in Black style."

Glancing at his clothing Ryan blinked.

"I'm wearing blue and you're wearing white."

"Shut up, idiot. Okay listen, we will need our MBI names, I shall name us since I'm older."

"Well I'm smarter!" Ryan snapped back, but made no attempt at becoming the 'namer'.

"Okay, Horatio's name shall be 'Pasty Red'." Eric smirked.

"Eww, how about just red?"

"Okay fine, Calleigh's shall be Bullet, easy to remember."

"Oh oh! Can I name you!?"

"No you idiot. Now, I shall be McHotty. And you shall be called..." Pausing, Eric thought of the best name. "Waddleduck."

"WADDLEDUCK!?" Ryan exclaimed, note they were still squatting next to a fake plant in the middle of a shopping center and he was now yelling.

"Yes, because when you run, you waddle like a duck!" Eric grinned at his ingeniousness.

"Whatever let's get this mission started, I shot gun mission namer, so it shall be called.....

Mission:

Yee-haw

On

Mission

Awesome.

More

Awesome.

Or Yoma-am for short." Ryan grinned.

"One, it spells out 'Yo Mama', and two....that is the BEST name in the world!" Eric exclaimed happily.

"I know, eh!?"

"Let's get this mission started." Eric grinned as the two men slipped on their 'cool shades' and followed up by doing a 'tuck-n-roll'.

* * *

Calleigh giggled as she pulled Horatio into a bathing suit store. She grinned as she pulled him to the back and showed him some of the bathing suits.

Horatio's body was on auto pilot as it would seem his mind was elsewhere.

'That bathing suit is so slutty but I would die to see her in it....Cal would never wear-oh my lord, she picked it out to try on! SCORE!'

He watched Calleigh pick out a few more then head to the changing room, she was still dragging him along.

They stopped and she grinned, they were the only two back there so now she had no fear of coming out in a bathing suit, even if Horatio was there. Turning, he watched as she entered a stall with her bundle of what seemed more like lingerie.

'Okay, calm down Horatio, it's not like she is going to be naked, just, really close to it. Calm, down, calm, down. Okay, I can do this. Who's the man? You're the man!' Thought the spazzing lieutenant. Spazzing was the correct word at this point as he paced in front of the stall, waiting for his angel to appear while he talked to himself inside of his mind.

A couple minutes later Calleigh exited the stall wearing a green bikini.

Horatio knew his face was bright red, since Calleigh began to blush and fiddle with her hands.

"Um, how-how does it look?"

'Damn hot that you would put any person to shame.' Was what he wanted to say, and it was the truth. The green complimented her eyes so nicely and it seemed to make her hair look brighter while making her eyes sparkle.

"Get it." Was all Horatio could say.

"R-Really?!" Calleigh responded, shocked at the blunt answer.

"You look....very beautiful in it Calleigh."....Well that was awkward for him to say.

Calleigh giggled softly. "Thank you handsome." She grinned before going back inside the stall.

'Oh my lord.' Horatio screamed in his head as he slid down the wall and let out the breath he didn t realise he had been holding until now. She looked like a model, no more, an angel! No wait, a goddess! Yes that was the perfect word to explain Ms. Duquesne.

After a few minutes, Calleigh reappeared wearing a red bikini.

Horatio felt his jaw drop, he knew it and couldn t help but let it. 'Oh dammmmmmmn.' Was all he could think. 'I swear now all we need are some strawberries and some cool whip and DAMN!' his mind was screaming at him.

Horatio's jaw went back to its usual spot when he saw Calleigh giggling.

"You look, um, please don't take this the wrong way Cal." He mumbled, hoping he wouldn't get slapped for what he was about to say. He saw Calleigh's grin falter and quickly finished with-

"You look hot."

Now Calleigh was laughing.

Horatio smirked seeing her laugh like that. It was more of a nervous laugh, but it was still a laugh.

"Thank you handsome, you're not so bad yourself." She giggled. 'Horatio said the word hot.' Was all she could think as she got herself in check.

"I'll be right back."

Horatio sighed as a large, stupid grin became plastered on his face. Those were really starting to irritate him.

He was now waiting for the last strip tease-bathing suit. That's when he heard Calleigh call from the other side.

"Hey, Horatio, can you come in and give me a hand please?"

'Oh crap.' Was all the redhead could think as he responded against his will.

"Sure Cal, I'll be right in.'

He watched helplessly as his body moved against his will.

'Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap.'

Then the door opened.

'Crap infinity.'

TBC

* * *

Once again thank you for reading and reviewing :)

I really couldn't help but throw the two knuckleheads in, and I know Ryan doesn't waddle....much

But it would be something Eric would do ;) Giving Ryan the worst name ever, and him the best.

I hope you enjoyed it ^^

I will post the next as soon as I can considering I will be busy for a little bit!

Oh and what do you think Horatio was 'Crap infinity-ing' about?

Disclaimer: I do not own the name Carrot Top , that comedian does. x3

Barbie is owned by Mattel, if I owned Barbie she wouldn't have so many dirty outfits ;)


	4. War With Caine

So sorry for such a late post! :O -shot-

Hope this is good ^^;;

Thanks for the V&R! =)

P.S. Go Waddleduck ;)

* * *

Recap:

_Hey, Horatio, can you come in and give me a hand please? _

_Oh crap. Was all the redhead could think as he responded against his will. Sure Cal, I ll be right in. _

_He watched helplessly as his body moved against his will. Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap. _

_Then the door opened. _

_Crap infinity._

* * *

Horatio gulped as the door opened. There before him was Calleigh. Yes, he knew that she was going to be there, but he expected a Calleigh with more clothing on. All she sported was a pair of bikini bottoms and her bra, her bikini top in her hand. He watched as she blinked at him and tilted her head. "Everything okay handsome?" she smiled.

That's when Horatio snapped. 'Oh, my lord.' Was all he could think he watched as her grin grew. 'She knows exactly what she's doing to me!' He was about to reply to her but she tossed her top at him.

"I can't tie it up, can you please?"

Horatio watched his hands shake. Great, now he was a teenage boy all over again.

He reached his hand out to unclip her bra when she laughed.

"I always thought you were a guy who would sleep on the second date!" Calleigh giggled.

Horatio's face paled. "I...you...um...fu...?" he mumbled back. 'Wait what!?' His mind screamed. 'Come on Caine, think of a good comeback!'

Calleigh giggled and reached around her back, which was facing Horatio. She unclipped it with ease and let it drop to the ground.

Now Horatio felt as if he would pass out. 'Breathe, Horatio....BREATHE!' he screamed mentally.

Horatio stood motionless as he watched things happen in slow motion. It reminded him of when he was a kid and watched dumb cartoons where something dramatic would happen and everything would slow down, then again his Mamma was always there with Ray with cookies.

Horatio giggled like a child. "Yes Mamma." He grinned then felt his face go pale.

"What?" Calleigh asked, glancing over her shoulder, keeping her arms against her chest.

"Um, nothing ma'am." Horatio responded quickly.

Shrugging, Calleigh waited for him to tie up the strings. Once he finally did she turned and grinned.

"Well, what do you think?"

* * *

"Pshh-Agent Waddleduck, where are you? This is Agent McHottie, I repeat where are you-psh-over."

Ryan blinked from his awesome crouching duck pose, which was right beside the Mall's only gaming store. Said store chose this day to release their new Rock Hero game today, causing a huge mob to form right in front of him.

"What's a Psh?" Ryan grinned happily into his cell, the one Eric had been so persistent on calling a Walki-talkie. Why they didn't go grab their normal talkies, or go buy some cheap ones he wasn't sure.

"You idiot, it is static sound effects." Eric snapped from his normal pose, which was simply walking. He was to lazy to crouch or hide behind some fake plant again.

"Well couldn't we use other sound effects or music?"

"No, and we don't use music 'till we find Red and Bullet Girl, over."

"You make it sound like Horatio and Calleigh are committing a felony." Wolfe then remembered Eric had said something after he was done talking. "Oh yeah! Under!"

"Listen Waddleduck. We need to find them, and it is over not under."

"Fine, well they are in that bikini store on the second floor if you must know."

"Okay meet me by the big tree, over."

Ryan blinked and glanced around, there were MANY big trees, since the mall had decided to have a tree convention as well. "Ugh, which big tree?"

"You dumbass, the one near the big puddle, over and out." Delko snapped before closing his phone and walking off.

Now Ryan was confused there were many ponds and trees in the mall, but no big puddles. Sighing he nodded softly to himself. "This is why I deserve to be the leader." He grumbled.

Twenty minutes later Ryan found Eric in the food court. He glanced around urgently.

"Okay, where is that fucking tree and puddle?" He snapped throwing himself down in the seat across from he Cuban.

Said Cuban was happily slurping on a Froster, ignoring his co-worker. "Well let's get going!" he grinned, hopping up. He glanced at his watch and realised it was only 11:30.

"Great now lets get them!" He boomed as he rushed up the stairs, full of energy. Leaving a sad, hungry, tired Waddleduck behind.

They eventually found that stupid Bikini store, after fighting off people coming up to them claiming they could beat them in 'Sticksaber' fights and that they should go watch 'Leaf Wars' when they get home.

"Okay, they are both in there." Eric mumbled as he turned to Ryan.

The younger man nodded as they both glared at the entrance. "Okay, we get in beat up H, then grab Cal and get out, got it?"

Ryan nodded. 'But what if Cal is changing....' he thought, then blushed immensely at the thought.

Grinning, Delko grabbed his phone and play the 'Mission Impossible Theme'.

They took two steps forwards before feeling a small hand on both of their shirt's collars and were yanked back. They turned and froze as they saw their worse nightmare....Alexx.

"Now you two better tell me what you think you are doing to my babies." The small woman snapped.

"Aww but Alexx, I thought I was your baby." Eric smiled softly, trying to charm his way out.

"Don't give me that Mister, I know for a fact that Calleigh and Horatio are in there and you two shall not mess this up!"

"How do you know they are in there?" Eric asked simply.

"I set them up on this, well forced Calleigh to ask him. And like I said you will not mess this up for them."

"B-But Al-exx!" Ryan stuttered.

"No buts mister, unless you want me to kick both of yours."

Eric froze, he had seen what had happened when Speed had gotten Alexx ticked. It was not pretty....poor Speed. He lost a ball that day, and he didn't have enough money for a replacement....he was really getting good at juggling too.

Alexx had let both men go when she turned her back to lecture Ryan. At that moment Eric had taken the chance to get away and into the store.

________________________________________

Horatio stared wide eyed at the skimpy bikini. The material was black and shiny, making it look almost like leather.

"You look so damn beautiful Cal, though anything could, this just has more exposure and....oh god." His face was as bright as his hair as he blurted out how he felt at her, or almost.

He was about to say more when they heard someone yell out Calleigh's name after they yelled 'OH MY GOD'. Both froze when they realised the door was still open. They both turned their heads ever so slightly to see a flushed Eric standing at the door, panting wide eyed and fists clenched.

"E-Eric!?" Calleigh shrieked as she blushed.

Horatio turned back to Calleigh and hid her body with his own. "What is it, Delko?"

All Eric could do was point at the flushed Calleigh and the seemingly unfazed Horatio.

"Wa-h, -w-ah WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER!?" He screamed, holding his head as if he was in agony.

Both Calleigh and Horatio froze and looked at each other. "Helping Calleigh with her bathing suit?" The Lt. responded honestly.

His response was greeted with another. 'oh my g-' but it never finished as they saw two small hands throw him to another set of arms.

Alexx glared at Eric in Ryan's arms, they kept staring at Alexx and Horatio, who had stuck his head out to see what was going on.

"You two lover boys can get going." She smiled softly as they yelped and broke apart.

That's when the manager walked over calmly and asked what happened.

Alexx smiled and explained how she was shopping with her newly engaged friends when these two dumbasses came over and tried to get a sneak peek at Horatio...even though he wasn't changing.

Horatio was a deadly white while Calleigh's face matched her 'fiance's' hair.

Alexx waved goodbye to the manager and the 'happy couple' as she dragged Eric and Ryan away.

The two 'love-birds' turned back to each other while they smiled softly.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" he asked softly, closing the stall door this time.

Calleigh nodded softly before wrapping her arms around Horatio.

Horatio never expected this kind of response as he wrapped his arms around Calleigh tightly.

"Thank you." Was audible in little more than a whisper.

"Anytime Sweetheart, anytime."

They held each other for a long time, though it was only minutes it felt more like hours, days possibly even years.

"Calleigh..."he sighed as he nuzzled his face into her hair.

"Hmm..." The blonde beauty responded, still caught up in her own emotions.

"I love you."

That was the moment where Calleigh felt her heart literally stop beating.

"W-Wa-what?" She stuttered, raising her head, eyes wide with shock.

"Nothing." Horatio whispered.

Calleigh sighed softly as a smile graced her face as she snuggled back into his embrace. She had heard him say it.

_'I love you.'_

The three words she had always hopped and dreamed of hearing, but never in her wildest dreams believe he would ever say.

She smiled and pushed him out of the changing room.

Horatio blinked, stunned by the movement. "Cal did I-" he was cut off with a laugh.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant Caine but I don't give peepshows till at least the second date, that is before I sleep with my date." Calleigh drawled as she closed the door.

Horatio gasped, but recovered by coughing over it. His stupid grin once again returned to his face and he tried to frown, but he couldn't.

Calleigh giggled as she emerged a few minutes later, four bathing suits in her hands.

"I thought you only tried on three of them?" He asked softly as he grabbed them and placed them on the counter, which he quickly paid for, earning a blush of approval from his blonde angel.

"I did." Calleigh smirked as the walked out of the store, arms linked.

"The fourth is for you."

Horatio froze and turned to Calleigh.

Calleigh was in a fit of giggles as she shook her head. "Nah, it is for me handsome."

Horatio chuckled as they exited the mall and into the parking lot, that's when they saw Eric and Ryan being beaten by Alexx's 8 year old daughter with her own little hand purse.

"I told you they were wimps." Calleigh giggled as they entered the hummer.

"I was thinking of another word." Horatio smirked as he started up the vehicle and started back for Calleigh s house.

"And that would be?"

"Puerile."

Calleigh blinked at the word. "Excuse me?"

Horatio laughed softly. "Childish Calleigh, childish."

Biting her lip, the ballistics expert glared out the window, embarrassed for not know such a simple word.

"Hey now, I didn't know it until I Googled the word 'stupid'." Horatio grinned.

Calleigh turned back around quickly and gasped loudly. "HORATIO CAINE!" she giggled. The thought of Horatio Googling the word stupid was enough to send her into a fit of laughter.

"Okay, okay. That's enough we're here."

"Aw darn, and I really wanted to figure out if you tweet yet." She smirked as she grabbed the bag at her feet.

"Tweet? Like a bird?" Horatio responded.

Calleigh laughed as she shook her head. "Thank you for everything! I'll see you in-" She paused and glanced at the clock. "In about 40 minutes handsome!"

Horatio nodded and smiled. "'Till then, beautiful."

He blinked as Calleigh leaned over and pecked him on the lips softly with a soft blush covering her cheeks. "Thank you again Horatio."

With that Calleigh hopped out of the car, went to her door and unlocked it before entering. She paused before closing the entrance and turned and waved, before blowing him a kiss.

Horatio smiled softly as he ducked his head, just in time to catch the blown kiss.

So there Mr. Caine sat, his face the colour of his hair, sunglasses fumbled in his hands and stupid smile plastered on his face.

He sighed as he raised his head with confidence as he slipped his sunglasses on. "No problem, Calleigh." He whispered to no one before pulling out of the driveway and heading home.

Things were going to get interesting around here.

* * *

Eric and Ryan continued to cry out as he small Woods child beat them with a tiny bag. "Please!" Ryan shrieked for the umpteenth time. "We're sorry!"

Alexx returned to her daughter and took her hand. "Let's go baby, we need to go get ready for Calleigh's party." She smiled.

"You're bringing **THAT** monster to the party!" Eric cried out as he hid behind Ryan.

Alexx smirked. "Come on _Angel,_ were going home."

The two CSIs watched as the two African-American women left before sinking down.

"Holy crap." Ryan whispered as he trembled.

"I swear to god that after this I am going to get-"

"**DON'T TELL ME YOU WANNA GET FIXED!"**

Eric froze and slapped his partner across the face. "Get a hold of yourself man! I was going to say ice cream, but now I have a better idea!" He grinned evilly.

"And that is? "Ryan snapped. This plan had gone wonderfully.

"We need to go buy many water balloons and other water junk. It is war with Caine."

"Is that really a smart idea Delko? This is the man who goes up against felons everyday, he might turn and fight back, but with everyone else on his side."

"Not everyone." Eric smirked as he rose from against the wall. "We have a secret weapon that he will not be able rendered useless against."

"And who would that be?" Ryan replied, copying his friends movements.

"Yelina."

TBC

* * *

Dun dun dun, lol Yelina always did kinda scare me, she always looked ready to kill anyone around. =)

Let's see if Horatio's feelings are true to Calleigh, and if Calleigh can keep her hands off of Eric ;)

**Next post will not be as stretched as this one was, again I am very sorry for that**

I also heard Adam Rodriguez(Delko) might be leaving CSI to do other things, which would really suck considering he is such an eye candy ;) lmao


	5. The Game Is On

Holy Jesserz :O! 1500+ views! –dies- well now I feel like a n00b, but a good kind of n00b! I love you all :D

Im so sorry for the month-ish update, I did really badly on an English test and wasn't allowed on, but when I was able to get on, it was at my friends, so that didn't really help!

;) Thanks to everyone who leaves me those reviews, I lurve you, and no not in the creeper joker kind of way, more like the BarbieXKen kind of way, wow spending time with my niece does weird things to my head....I'll shut up now so you can read the newest chapter :) Please meet the one who scares me most!

Yelina Salas....*coughshesthebadkindofcreepercough* rofl :)

* * *

Horatio hummed softly as he padded into his living room. He draped his jacket across the couch while sliding his shoes off. He turned and walked into his bedroom and grabbed his black and blue bathing suit. He smiled softly as he stretched before touching his forefinger to his lips. "Calleigh...." he moaned in a velvet dripping voice. What he would give to have her in his arms. He was determined to do so soon.

After changing quickly he walked back into his living room after grabbing his laptop.

He grabbed his phone and quickly text Calleigh asking if she wanted him to come over early, her response was that he would get her Calleigh-fill when everyone else did. Meaning no, he did get a good chuckle out of it though.

Sitting on the couch, he opened up the chat room he was so familiar with to see if anyone was on. He smiled seeing Ryan and Eric on.

_-TheShades has entered chatroom-_

_TheShades: Anyone on?_

_SexyDiver: You think you can show your face here CAINE!?_

Eyebrows knit, Horatio leaned closer.

_TheShades: What's wrong?_

_SexyDiver: YOU! YOU WILL PAY!!!!!_

_TheShades: Wtf?_

_LoneWolfe: Lmao_

_TheShades: Hello =)_

_LoneWolfe: Hey there H! :D_

_SexyDiver: The fuck?! WOLFE! YOU TRAITOR! Listen Caine, you better watch your back! I will get _

_Calleigh and you, you will face your worse enemy! PASTY!_

Horatio sat there utterly confused.

_TheShades: Are you on drugs?_

_SexyDiver: Yes._

_TheShades: Delko I am coming to talk to-_

_SexyDiver: ITS NAME IS CALLEIGH! _

_LoneWolfe: Well this is awkward on many levels, see you guys in half an hour! Xoxo!_

_TheShades: That was more awkward._

_-SexyDiver has changed screen name to CDAddict-_

_LoneWolfe: Cow Dung?_

_CDAddict: SOAB!_

_-CDAddict has changed their screen name to BanginBullet-_

_BanginBullet: MUHAHAHA_

_LoneWolfe: nice, man!_

_BanginBullet: Lmao I know =)_

Horatio growled as he read the message. "Fuck this." He snapped to no one in particular.

_TheShades: Change your name or you are suspended without pay_.

_BanginBullet: Fine, but only cause I need the money!_

_-BanginBullet has changed their name to SexyDiver-_

_LoneWolfe: I gotta go, see you guys later! =)_

_TheShades: Same._

_SexyDiver: See yea, Traitor, Asshole._

_-LoneWolfe, TheShades, SexyDiver has logged off-_

Horatio ran a hand over his weary face. "My worst enemy..." he muttered quietly as he padded into his room with a soft sigh. "Stetler maybe?"

He turned to see it was about time he left. 'Great, now who could it be damn it' He thought as he grabbed a towel and bag and headed for the door. After closing and locking said door, Horatio walked over to his off-shift silver BMW, entered it and set off for Cal's house.

Arriving 10 minutes later, Horatio spotted both Eric's and Frank's cars parked outside. He parked the BMW and walked up to the door, before noticing the sign that said 'Come on in! We're around back!' taped to the door. He smirked and walked into the house, grinning as the air-conditioning hit his skin.

Horatio walked into the farthest room, that being the kitchen, and placed his bag with the towel in it down on the counter.

He turned once he heard booming laughter fill his ears. The redhead smirked as he padded out onto the deck to be almost barrelled over by Calleigh.

"Horatio!" The blonde bombshell squealed happily as she threw her arms around him in a large embrace.

"Hello sweetheart," The Lt. laughed, hugging Calleigh back. "How's everything sweetheart?"

Calleigh grinned as she dropped her arms. "Ah, okay." She smirked.

Horatio then realised what she was wearing. It was the white bathing-suit she hadn't tried on in front of him. It was fairly skimpy, but still sophisticated enough to not look dirty, or too revealing.

"Well? How do ya' like it handsome?" Calleigh giggled, spinning in a circle for him.

Horatio smirked taking it all in, he felt a large lump in his throat as he swallowed hard. He leaned down a bit to whisper in her ear. "Do you really want me to answer that out loud?"

Calleigh giggled as a soft blush erupted on her face. "I guess not." She drawled as Horatio straightened up.

"So who's all here?" Horatio asked as Calleigh and him moved towards the pool side, he waved to Frank as he passed.

"Um, Eric, Ryan and Natalia all came together, while Frank came by himself. But Alexx and her kids should be coming soon, as well as some 'special guest' as Eric put it."

Horatio nodded softly, truly he didn't hear a word she said, he was too interested in her pink, soft...kissable lips. They were so entrancing after the scene about an hour ago, and now he couldn't help but stare.

"So, want to go swimming?" Calleigh giggled softly.

Horatio smirked as he removed his shirt. For an 'old man' he was fairly toned, making Calleigh blush immensely.

Horatio chuckled and picked Calleigh up, and threw her over his shoulder like a sac of potatoes.

"HORATIO CAINE!" The blonde beauty screamed as she was hoisted up, this caused everyone to turn and either laugh or smirk, or in Eric's case, scowl.

Horatio walked over to the deep end of Calleigh's in-ground pool and grinned.

"Oh my lord, Horatio if you throw me in I swear to god I will NEVER talk to you again!" Calleigh yelped as she clung to Horatio, constricting her arms and legs around him, not that he minded of course.

"Okay, I promise I won't throw you in." Horatio grinned.

Calleigh sighed and visibly relaxed. "Oh thank you handsome I-"

"That, however, does not mean I will not jump in with you." Horatio grinned wildly, as he took a few steps back on the cement around the pool.

"HORATI-"

The redhead laughed as he ran towards the pool and dove in, still clinging to Calleigh.

He grinned as he surfaced with a coughing blonde.

"HORATIO!" she screamed as she began to land punches on his arms, which only caused him to laugh harder as he let her go and swam away. What he didn't see was that before he had jumped in, Yelina, Ray Jr. along with Alexx and her family had walked in to see the whole ordeal go down.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Calleigh screamed. Though it was less of a threat with her laughing her head off as she swam swiftly after him. Reaching out, Calleigh found his trunks and held on.

Horatio smirked as he turned and grabbed Calleigh, lifting her onto his shoulders.

He turned when he heard children laughing at him.

There stood Ray and Alexx's kids, laughing hard at the Lt.

That's when realization kicked in. If they were there that would mean...

"Horatio Caine." Two menacing voices hissed behind him. He turned and saw Alexx in a pair of shorts and a tank-top. Next to her was Yelina, his widow sister-in-law, wearing a very revealing bathing suit.

"Er...yes ladies? What is it?" Horatio smiled softly, trying to fake innocence out of all of this.

He didn't realise Calleigh had gotten free until he saw her walk behind Yelina and Alexx towards the house with Natalia.

He was a dead man.

"Horatio. Did you do what I think you just did?" Alexx asked calmly.

"Er, maybe?"

"Did you just throw Calleigh into the pool, honey."

"Well then no."

"Well I thought Ray was a bad liar, but it won't work when we just saw you do it." Yelina snapped as she crossed her arms over her breasts, pushing them up slightly.

Horatio laughed weakly. "I jumped in with her." He smiled softly.

"And you will pay." A voice giggled from behind the other women. Alexx and Yelina turned to see Calleigh holding her hose with Natalia at the faucet.

At Calleigh's signal, the two women moved away, while Natalia turned on the ice water, shooting it straight into Horatio's face.

"HEY!" Horatio cried out as he was forced backwards and underwater. Calleigh turned to a howling Eric and Ryan and shot them in the face as well, causing them to cry out and dunk under the water.

Calleigh turned to see Ryan run out of the water, she got a clear shot of his **whole** body, chilling him to the bone. "WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU AND FREEZING ME!?" he cried out as he ran.

"WADDLE, WADDLEDUCK! WADDLE!" Eric boomed behind him as Ryan ran, or waddled for his life.

"SH-SH-UT UP!" He spat back, breaking into an all out sprint before ducking behind the children.

Eric's booming laughter faded as he was shot in the face with more water, this time however, it was Horatio.

"CAINE!" The Cuban spat out as he swam towards him, not seeing that Calleigh had gotten back into the pool.

* * *

Horatio chuckled softly as he moved the hose away from Eric and straight at Calleigh.

The southern belle squeaked in surprise as Horatio sprayed her.

Horatio laughed as he dropped the hose and dove into the pool, and re-emerged in front of Calleigh. He smirked softly at how close they were to each other. "Hello sweetheart." He purred to her, pushing her against the wall.

Calleigh giggled as she blushed. "Oh my, handsome." She drawled as she smiled up at him.

Horatio lowered himself to her lips and brushed them softly over hers. It wasn't a kiss, nor was it just a soft caress, it was so much more.

The moment was wonderful until they felt a bucket of ice-water dumped on their heads from above.

They yelped in surprise and broke apart, glaring furiously up.

There in front of them was a fuming Yelina.

"It's time to eat." She smiled at Horatio, while scowling at Calleigh. She turned away and swung her hips seductively at Horatio as she walked away.

"My lord, I swear that woman hates me." Calleigh muttered as she climbed out with Horatio.

"She doesn't hate you Cal, she is just getting to know you."

"By wearing very revealing clothing and swinging her hips? Huh, yeah, I so believe you now." Calleigh sassed back as the dried themselves off and padded back to the others.

Once they arrived, Calleigh learned Ryan and Frank had gotten into her burgers, hot dogs and barbeque as they fried up some food. She smiled softly and sat down in a seat beside Eric. She watched as Horatio climbed the steps only to be encountered by Yelina holding herself, litteraly.

Horatio blinked at the sight before him. Yelina walked up to him with a huge smile, holding her breasts. "Hey, mind tying me up?" She purred to him as she turned. Why she wouldn't ask Alexx, Natalia or Calleigh was beside him as Horatio quickly tied the top up behind her neck. He watched as Yelina turned back around and frowned slightly at his blank, non-blushing face. She then smiled, grabbed either end of the string he just tied and yanked on it. Horatio froze as Yelina exposed herself slightly to him, only seeing part of her breasts. "Whoops!" She giggled, "Too loose!"

Calleigh's mouth hung open as well as Alexx's. "Did she just-"Calleigh started but froze up.

Alexx nodded. "I believe she just did honey."

"Oh, she had better not of." Calleigh snapped, slamming her beer down. She turned to Alexx with fire in her green eyes.

"Calleigh..." Alexx warned watching her blonde friend stand and storm over to Horatio and Yelina. She smiled as she tapped on the brunette's arm. "Mind helping me with something?" She smiled sweetly.

Horatio let a breath out that he hadn't realised he had been holding. 'Thank god for Calleigh.' He thought as his southern belle dragged the other woman away.

* * *

Inside he house, Calleigh closed the door and turned to Yelina.

"Just what exactly was that?" She snapped at the brunette.

"Hm, nothing. Horatio is mine, as you well know and I think you are just getting a bit to close."

"Excuse me? Last time I checked, he is MY best friend and MY boss. I have no clue why you are even here, or was it for 'your Horatio', sweetpea?" Calleigh drawled in a mocking tone.

Yelina snarled softly. "So what? You use him then leave him, right, I won't let him chose a blonde bitch like you over me."

Calleigh snapped.

"Well I'm sorry for him having some taste, and before you go around calling people bitches, I would think about my being first."

Yelina growled at the other woman. "Fine, we will decide then who he chooses, a bitch or his real lover." She smirked.

"Fine by me, don't take it to hard though when he calls you a bitch." Calleigh smirked before walking back outside.

The game is on, and Horatio was the prize. There was no way she was loosing.

* * *

Lmao so there you have it :) not as much Ryan&Eric in this one, Sorry :( next one will pretty much include:

Eric and Ryan trying to pants Horatio ;)

Calleigh VS Yelina- Which team are you on? Team Cal, or Team Yel?

And Frank expressing his true feelings about a certain someone, GRAB THE TISSUES FOR HIS PART, Alexx plays Dr. Phil while the kids are off doing something and Natalia is...well Natalia...:)

No offence to any Yelina fans, I have nothing against her...just needed a 'good bad guy' lol well that was worded oddly, but you guys get it...right?

Lmao I will update on October 12th, if I don't by then feel free to beat me with a stick ;)

Anyone seen the New season? Didn't care for 2nd episode (no yummy rodriguez :( ) But Three was adorable :) LMFAO at Ryan, I love him =)


	6. Shoop Da Whoop

Thanks for the reviews/views =) Hope you had a great turkey day if you had it this weekend. : ) (I know we do in Canada, no clue if they do anywhere else in the world x3 I should go Google that!)

I just wanted to say before I start the next chapter that no one should really be taking this story 'seriously', I mean in the way the story is written and how the characters act, all I'm doing is having fun. This is purely a 'crack-fic' I know that there is no way in the world Horatio would do any of the crap he does in this story! But his personality is supposed to be like that, just for a fun turn on things. I will most likely change that in future fictions but for now, he is, well a dumbass. :)

* * *

Frank sighed as he sat on the lawn chair, glancing every once and a while at the pool. It brought back memories for him. Memories he wished could be forgotten.

Alexx looked over at Frank and rose from her seat. She placed a soft hand on his arm and smiled. "Hey there honey, what's the matter?"

Frank blinked and gazed up at the woman. "Nothing." He responded quietly.

"Hun, don't give me that. I can easily tell by the way you are acting that something is up. So spill."

Frank chuckled softly as Alexx sat down beside him. "Memories." He stated in little more than a whisper.

"Memories? Well do you have anything else for me to go off of?" She chuckled softly.

"I hate water, it brings me back to a time when I was younger."

Alexx nodded as she listened.

"It feels like it was yesterday, I was with him and we were happy. I remember sitting there and watching him swim. I knew I shouldn't of-"Frank then choked up. "But...I did, I grabbed his small little tail and pulled him backwards through the water. I remember laughing and letting go, but then he sunk to the bottom. I thought he was playing a game so I waited for him. But-"he took a large quivering breath. "When I went and got him, he-he-he was dead..." Tears trickled down his eyes as Alexx wisped them away. "I-I m-i-ss hi-m s-so m-mu-mu-ch." Frank sobbed pitifully.

"Oh sugar," Alexx soothed. "Who was he?"

"Swimmy."

Alexx blinked, thinking she misheard. "Swimmy?"

"Yes! Swimmy, my wonderful Swimmy! He was the best fish you would have ever met!" Frank sobbed into the napkin Alexx had given him.

"Your, crying about a fish?" Alexx responded in disbelief.

"Yes. I miss swimmy so much, b-but Swimmy don't swim no more."

Natalia blinked from where he was. "Are you sure your mentally stable?" She asked Frank.

Frank glanced up as Alexx walked away. "Yes I am." He snapped.

Alexx sat down next to Natalia and smirked, leaning over. "We're still waiting for the test results to come in." She smirked.

Natalia grabbed onto her stomach as she fell into a fit of laughter, Alexx hot on her heels behind her.

* * *

"I'm telling you, this is the best idea ever!" Eric grinned

Ryan nodded encouragingly. "It's gotta' work!" he announced.

"Okay, so to get Yelina to Horatio, Horatio away to Calleigh and Calleigh to me, we-" Eric was cut off as he was hit in the back of the head with a beach ball. Turning around slowly and mincingly. he saw a smiling Horatio, a giggling Calleigh and...well to put it bluntly a Yelina who was checking out Horatio.

"Who did that?" Eric snapped, though his 'snappiness' was only directed towards Horatio.

Calleigh and Horatio blinked before quickly pointing at each other. "(S)HE DID IT!" they both exclaimed as if they were four.

Rolling his eyes Eric strolled over to Calleigh, Yelina and Horatio. Ryan dawdled along behind him. "Listen Caine, you should lay off before you get hurt." He growled, poking a slender finger into the redhead's chest.

"Oh but kind Eric, dear. I did nothing." Horatio smiled softly.

"Awkward on many levels H." Ryan replied as his eye twitched softly.

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "If you must know Eric," She paused and thought about telling the truth but her inner 'evil' got the best of her. "Yelina did it." She smiled softly.

"What!?" Yelina screeched, turning to Calleigh, who was smiling away.

Eric froze and growled. "So, why exactly did you throw a ball at my head?"He snapped he was about to give Yelina a tongue-lashing, but was thrown into the pool by Horatio, which caused Yelina to giggle and give Horatio a hug, which caused Horatio to blush and Calleigh to scowl.

Ryan yawned and walked away. He sighed as he went over to the bag he brought filled with many different assortments of water toys and grabbed a water gun. He walked over to Eric and smiled as he helped the other man out of the pool. Turning, he 'waddled' over to Horatio, Calleigh and Yelina and smiled as he pointed the water gun at one of them. All froze and waited for what was about to happen.

Ryan smiled and shot Yelina square in the face, sending her backwards into the pool.

"Shoop da Whoop." Ryan grinned before turning right into a large hug from Calleigh.

"Oh my lord Ryan! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!" The blonde beauty squealed as she held the man. Ryan chuckled as he released the hold. "No problem, she was bothering me anyways."

Eric stood dripping beside a dry Horatio. "Did Calleigh just hug him?" he snapped to the LT.

"Eric, Eric I believe she just did." He responded simply.

"Well we can't have that, now can we?" Eric smirked.

"No, no we can not." Horatio stated, sliding his glasses on his face.

Calleigh turned and smiled at Horatio and Eric. "Time for lunch." She drawled before walking back up to the deck with Ryan.

"Hotdog or Hamburger, Handsome?"

Horatio pondered the thought before smiling. "Calleigh, Calleigh I would like a hamburger."

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD WOULD YOU STOP!?" Natalia screamed, clenching her head, causing everyone to jump and turn to her.

"What?" Horatio asked blinking and tilting his head softly.

"Must you repeat the first word in every sentence!?" The brunette snapped.

Horatio blinked. "Yes, yes I must." He smirked in response.

"Cheeky asshole...."Natalia muttered under her breath.

Alexx smirked and looked over to Natalia. "It seems we have another test result to wait for." She giggled.

Calleigh turned to the other women. "What tests?"

Alexx smirked. "Honey, we are waiting for the tests to come in to tell us if Horatio and Frank are mentally sane."

Calleigh broke out laughing and turned to look at the men. "That's what you get when you are old, wear sunscreen and are going bald."

Frank froze, his hot-dog half way to his mouth. "You think I'm going bald?" he replied.

Horatio smirked. "Sweetheart if I'm old, you're calling Alexx ancient."

Calleigh rolled her eyes before glancing around. "Where are Eric and Ryan?"

* * *

"Waddle duck what the heck was that!?" Eric yelled at Ryan.

"Um, Calleigh giving me a hug?" Ryan replied honestly.

"Well we were supposed to get Yelina with Caine and Cal with me, but I think you just messed up that plan. Just what exactly are your intentions Waddle duck?"

"I-I'm just here to make you end up with Calleigh, McHotty, Sir...Sir?" Ryan exclaimed.

"Well now we are gonna have to think of a new plan now that all of this has happened."

"And what exactly to you think we should do?"

Eric paused but then grinned. "War on Caine."

....

....

"You've said that already." Ryan replied bluntly.

"I have?" Eric blinked.

"No duh." Ryan snapped. "What I think we need to do is embarrass Horatio in front of Cal."

Eric nodded, "But what to do." He sighed.

"We could always pants him." Ryan grinned.

"THAT'S PERFECT!" Eric giggled, which caused Ryan to freeze.

"Wrong on 12 levels, with a bonus 3." Ryan muttered.

"Whatever let's go." Eric muttered, turning to leave.

"Wait! How exactly are we gonna be able to get even close enough to pull his pants down?"

"We could seduce him?"

Ryan froze. "Fine but your doing the seducing."

"How the fuck did I end up the seducer?" Ryan muttered quietly as he walked over to Horatio. Sighing he nodded. Here goes nothing.

"Oh, Hey there H." Ryan smiled in a high pitched tone.

"Sugar is your voice okay?"

"Oh, yes thanks Alexx." He grinned as he dropped his watch in front of the Lt. "Oh, whoops! I seemed to have dropped my watch." He smiled as he bent over in front of Horatio, giving him a... 'nice' view of his derriere. Horatio healed his breath as he watched Ryan stroke his own leg as he straightened up.

Calleigh, Natalia and Alexx couldn't hold in there laughter as all three of them fell off their chairs laughing hard. "R-R-Y-AN...W-Wha-t-t t-he-e fu-ck!?" Natalia rasped as she healed her stomach.

Calleigh was rolling on the floor, holding her stomach while the other two were trying hard to get up.

Horatio has his hand over his mouth as he watched Ryan walk off. 'What the heck was that?!' his mind screamed. 'D-Di-d I just get seduced?!....BY RYAN NO LESS!?'

* * *

Yelina crossed her arms as she stalked away from everybody, she wanted to leave but that would be like forfeiting to that stupid blonde, which she would NOT do.

She turned the corner and ran into Eric and Ryan arguing. "WHERE WERE YOU!?" Ryan yelled.

"I was waiting for the signal."

" What freaking signal!? We never arranged for a signal!"

"Well we should have."

"No freaking duh."

"Gentlemen, if you don't mind me butting in, I may be of assistance." Yelina smiled.

Both men turned and scowled. "Why would we want your help?" Eric snapped.

"Because your version of 'seducing Horatio' was pathetic."

"True, true." Eric replied.

"So all we have to do to separate is make it so Calleigh can't keep her hands off of you Eric."

Both men rolled their eyes as the three adults huddled. "Let's get this started." Ryan grinned.

* * *

Calleigh smiled as she stood in her kitchen with Horatio. "Finally." She mumbled to him as Horatio pinned her against the counter. His hands on either side of her body.

"Finally." He whispered back, he lowered his face to hers and quickly captured her soft lips with this own velvety ones. Calleigh quickly deepened the kiss, moving her arms around his neck. They stayed like that until the need of oxygen became too much and they broke apart. Horatio smiled as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

"Is this okay?" Calleigh whispered.

Horatio smiled and nodded softly.

"Then why does it feel like we are going behind everyone's backs?"

"Because we are at this point." Horatio chuckled softly.

Calleigh rolled her eyes at the man trapping her. "What about Stetler?"

"Have I ever cared?"

"Alexx?"

"Will be overly happy."

"Eric?"

"I want to rub his face in it." Horatio replied smugly.

"Yelina and Ray Jr.?"

Horatio froze, he forgot about his sister-in-law and nephew.

"Ray will be happy, but Yelina...."

"Will want to kill me I take it?" Calleigh smirked at Horatio, who chuckled and nodded. "No offence though, Cal." He smirked in response.

"Okay, but you can't give her any ideas okay?" She smirked.

"As long as you keep your hands off of Eric." He chuckled.

"Oh, because I have such a hard time now, eh handsome?" Calleigh smirked as she smacked his arm lightly. "Well, let's get back out there."

"After this." Horatio smirked as he captured the blonde's lips again. He moulded them together for as long as he could before separating and kissing her forehead. "Let's get going sweetheart."

Calleigh just nodded in a daze as she followed Horatio out of her house and back outside to where Eric was lying near the poolside. She smiled and waved softly at him but was stopped when she heard her name called. "Cal, mind giving me a hand?!" the Cuban called.

"I guess...."Calleigh sighed, padding over to the man. "What can I do you for?" she sassed, sitting down beside him.

"Mind helping me put some sunscreen on?" He asked innocently with his big brown eyes.

Calleigh sighed with a smirk. "Oh I guess." She drawled, pouring some sunscreen, which was to her left onto her hands. After lathering up her hands she was about to put it on his back, but he shot up and embraced Calleigh in a tight hug. Her hands gripped his hips, stabilizing herself.

"I'm sorry for being such and ass at times!" Eric exclaimed as he let go with a huge smile.

"Um...it's okay?" Calleigh replied as she went to get up.

The southern belle froze and glanced up at Eric.

"What in the world did you do?"

* * *

What in the world DID Eric do?

Sorry for updating so late! :( Oh the joys of un-expected power outages, at least it came back on soon enough for me to watch Miami (which is where I just came from xD)

Has anyone else noticed that Ryan's choice of...style, has changed a bit? What's with the sweater-vests and slicked back hair? Not cool waddle duck! :O

Next Update: Tuesday 20th at the earliest, I got a couple of things to do this week, so it may take a little while to update. :)

Oh! PS: (I love you x3) Please vote on the poll on my profile for if I should continue or not, I'm not quite sure since it seems to get more views in earlier chapters, but then thins out so I don't think to many people are liking it :) Thanks!

Oh and Shoop Da Whoop - I know there was no cartoon eyes etc. ;) But I couldn't help it


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